At the beginning with you...

I guess I should start at the beginning, as most stories do.

I was a thin blonde haired, blue eyed boy of about nine years, when I lost that one thing we are all born with, our innocence, our trust, and for a boy our sane non-sex crazed mind. I lost this to my step-father, a stocky five foot eight man with rouged looks and a foul temper, brown eyes and a stubbled chin are what I remember most, he never blinked, always watching me as he forced himself on me time after time, but I digress; this is about the first time.

I was born in July which here in Australia is Winter, my parents had decided to leave the coastal town where I was born and travel the country, we ended up in Alice Springs for this particular leg of my own personal hell, living in a caravan park. Just the three of us, mum took a job as a cleaner and Brian (Step-Father) worked for a telecommunications company as a wire-man. It was coming up to my tenth birthday, about two weeks before if I recall correctly, there was a terrible heat wave, which was unusual even for the middle of the desert and mum had gone off to work. Brian had the day off and decided that he didn't want to wear anything but his football shorts, his upper torso dripped with sweat as he walked around the caravan we lived in, I was only in swim shorts myself as I had planned to go swimming in the pool, but when I had planned to leave.

"Where do think you're going?" Brian muttered laying on the double bed, legs hanging over the end, thick hair moist with his musk.

"To the pool, is that ok?" I sarcastically replied pulling a twisted face to myself in relished defiance readying the door handle and slowly opening it.

"It's really not, have you done your homework, did you feed the dog?" He questioned in an almighty tone not lifting his body to look at me, he sighed loudly waiting for my response. The man petrified me; on more than one occasion he had hit me for disobedience. I let go of the door.

"I'll do it now" I muttered in defeat, I didn't want any more backlash then a stilted tone.

"Actually, come here, I have a better idea." He said sitting up slowly, I was a naive youth but I had always found him oddly attractive, in a frightened rabbit in the headlights sort of way. I walked over to the bed and looked him in the face.

"What's your idea Dad?" I said, He loved it when I called him Dad, some people are strange I guess.

"It's a game, a very special game, well more of a lesson you'll need when you're older." He cocked a smile and stretched out his hand. He knew me too well, he knew that all he had to do was hint at something that was beyond my knowledge and I would fall hook, line and sinker in to his sick little trap. I did fall, I fell as hard and as fast as I knew how and now I'm a changed man because of it.

"Really?" All my fear was gone, he was going to be a father that I could look up to and trust, it was one of my happiest moments and my most stupid. He reached up my leg and guided me to the bed, sitting me firmly next to him, our thighs touching. He looked me in the eye and told me that this was only for he and I, that women didn't understand it and shouldn't be told, I felt so special.

He slowly grabbed my groin, caressing it.

"Wha...?" I didn't get to finish, this was important and it suddenly felt so good, I was over whelmed by the sudden feelings, the heat and fever drove me to ignore my own panic at the situation and let him continue, he slid down my shorts revealing my semi hard-on, I didn't even have pubic hair at this point. He caressed my flesh gently until I had an erection worth working with and without so much as a warning he lowered his lips to the tip and encased my member, sucking gently and expertly. It tickled at first and I kicked to get him off, he pushed me down with one hand, his hands were as wide as my chest, he had little struggle to pin me to the spot. His momentum hastened as my breath drew out longer and more exacerbated, I whimpered in pleasure as he drew me closer to my first load.

He stopped just before I would have blown with smug look on his face.

"Fun game, huh?" He grinned.

"Your turn." He shuffled up the bed and lay down with his arms behind his head, smugness oozing from him like a drug, he'd changed something in me. I didn't question it. I wanted it, and I'd have it. I climbed up the bed and yanked at his shorts, they came away with ease, he wasn't wearing any underwear either.

"Suck it?" He questioned, but I knew it was a command, I didn't care I thought all fathers and sons did this, I thought we were bonding. I was wrong. He was thick with veins, large testicles and well trimmed dark hair, I lowered my mouth over his head, I nearly choked on it, my mouth was far to small to accommodate his girth, I felt so bad, he just watched as I struggled with is rod.

"There are other things you can do, you know?" He piqued my interest once more, he guided me up on to his chest, my legs split down over his waist, he reached up between the gap and teased my arse hole, gently at first, rubbing and prodding. He withdrew his hand and moistened his fingers, a sinister smile came over his face, at that point I didn't care. He inserted his middle finger in to my arse, I lost my mind, I felt so out of control I gasped for oxygen I didn't need, my mind begged for me to stop him, but my body urged him on.

"Bounce on it." He commanded. I obeyed. I slid up and down on his middle finger until the pain started to subside, then the real look of satisfaction drew across his face, he shifted out from under me, pushed my head into the pillow and raised my arse into the air with firm manly hands. He spat on his dick and flicked it against my hole. He entered me slowly, which was good because it hurt like all hell, the burning was so intense I thought I would pass out, in truth I think I may have cause it didn't seem to go that long, but it did feel amazing, he filled me to my core and unlocked that primal animal in us all.

With that single act I went from child to man, I wasn't ready for it, I wasn't prepared for what it would do to my mind, but after that day I looked at life differently.    

Until next time.

...Where to begin?

I'm very new to this whole idea, so forgive me if I seem vague. I'm not the smartest person in the world but if there is one thing I know how to do its fuck. I've had a very checkered, lustful and sordid past sexually but the context of it all seems to be all to surreal.

So I've decided to share my encounters and situations with an unknown audience in the hope I can make sense of it in my own mind and come to terms with the thoughts that plague me now.

So to you the reader, I say thank you and please note I probably will tire of this as I do with most things.

:3